


Love

by Gentrix



Series: Chosen Peace [2]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Fade Spirits, Gen, Grief/Mourning, In the Fade, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, One Shot, The Fade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25444903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gentrix/pseuds/Gentrix
Summary: With her memories unlocked, she finally puts a name to a face that a Spirit of Love has used, asking her a question that she could not answer, for she could never truly understood it. After realizing who he was and what the question truly meant, she ignores him, refusing to answer or look at him and the cycle repeats every time she sinks into the Fade.Then, one day, the cycle changes by the spirit, saying something else in response to her silence."Someday, you will have to answer my question."Her resolution against talking to the spirit breaks, demanding an answer to a question that has haunted her since her memories unveiled themselves. "Why him?"
Series: Chosen Peace [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841563
Kudos: 39





	Love

Aerin sank into the Fade easily, appearing inside her dreamscape that she had created, aptly named the Mind Palace; a name that she never known was significant to her until her memories were reawakened.

The Spirit of Love greeted her with a gentle smile, hand outstretched to beckon her to hold him. He asks the question again, a question that she had always refused to answer and ignored him for the rest of her time in the Fade. The spirit always leaves her be, gently letting her know that he will be waiting for her. The cycle always repeats and never changes.

This time, something changes. The spirit asks the same question again and she ignores him, turning away to trek towards the library that she had created, full of her favorite written works ranging from Arthur Conan Doyle to Shakespeare, but this time, the spirit grabs her, pulling her away from the door leading to the library, familiar calloused hands gently holding hers.

"You cannot keep avoiding the question, child," he says, grey eyes staring into hers and she looks away, not wanting to be reminded of who the image of the spirit actually belonged to. "Someday, you have to face it."

She pulls away, resistance crumbling as she finally addresses the spirit and asks the question that has been haunting her since she had her memories back. "Why take his form?"

The spirit gives her a knowing look. "You know why, child."

"No, I don't!" she responds angrily. She stops, trying to calm herself down, knowing that her emotions could change this spirit and beckon demons to come, even if her Mind Palace was secure. "Why haunt me with his form? Why take it?"

Love sighs. "Look at me, child. Look into my eyes and answer your own question. You know why."

She refused and she felt the caress of a hand gently nudging her to stare into the spirit's eyes, unable to look away from his face. A face she will never see again. A face that had loved her from the day she was born. She was his firstborn and she was the last of his line, even if she had been reincarnated into a fantasy world. Grey eyes that will never look towards her again, shining with pride, love and other various emotions. Laugh lines that she will never see again anytime something hilarious had occurred at her expense or someone else's. She finally cracked, falling to the ground, weeping for her lost family, never had the opportunity to grieve for them properly.

"Y-You took B-Baba's form because," she paused, choking on her tears, breathing wildly, letting herself be gently hugged by the spirit. "He embodied love. He loved everyone, whether they had done harm to him or were just complete strangers to him. He was kind, selfless, brave and loved us till the very end. He was always there for us, for me. His love never diminishes and fills everything in my life and makes it mean something, whether it was big or small. I never doubted his love for me, for my siblings, for Mama. You could've taken Mama's form but I had doubted my Mama's love because she put duty for family honor first before love even though I knew she loves us."

"Yes, child. Now, hush. Grieve for your Baba, your Mama and your siblings," Love cooed, humming a familiar lullaby. "They loved you dearly. Remember their love. It will never go away. Never fade away for they will always be a part of you."

She slowly calmed down, tightly holding onto the spirit who feels like Baba, who pats her hair gently, singing more familiar tunes that had been sung by her own Baba, the hug feeling more familiar as time went by. The spirit continues on encouraging of her family's love, addressing all of her silent concerns. She still kept choking on air, tears streaming down her face, but she was finally content. Memories that had been bitter, a reminder of a time that was gone, was now full of acceptance, sadness and love.

"I will always be here for you, child." he pulls away and this time, it truly feels like it was Baba, not a Spirit of Love. "Next time, I truly hope you answer my question, _da'len_. Now, awaken. Dawn is upon us."

Her Mind Palace slowly fades away as she starts to awaken, the spirit waving goodbye, a smile on his face, anticipating her next visit into the Fade. She opens her eyes slowly and embraces the Waking World.

" _Da'len_ , are you alright?" the Keeper's voice startles her and she realizes that she was not alone in her tent. "You were crying. Ellana, Mahanon and I could not wake you. We were also unable to find you in the Fade."

"I..." she trails off, tears slowly falling down. "I... think I will be."

The Keeper hesitantly leaves her be, knowing that her memories were still plaguing her, having already be warned by the woman who had given her, a newborn, to the clan. She grabs the leather bag, filled with familiar items, a gift she had received from the woman, a day before her twentieth birthday in Bloomingtide, remnants from a time long past. She takes out an item and stares at it, finally accepting it but she knows she will never be okay, she will never forget her loss again.

"Baba, Mama, Aiden, Andrew, Allie, _ar lath ma_. _Ir abelas_ for forgetting you. _Ir abelas_. I will never forget you again. I swear," she promises, gently kissing the family picture and hugs it. She stashes it back and puts her bag away, wiping her tears. " _Ar dirtha'var'en_ , truly."

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:
> 
> da'len - child  
> ar lath ma - I love you  
> ir abelas - I'm sorry  
> ar dirtha'var'en - I promise
> 
> This was truly difficult to write. I know how to make sad edits but I can't seem to make it into words. Oh well, I did try my best. I hope everyone enjoyed this! Apologies if there are any grammatical errors, sentences that doesn't seem to make sense or if this doesn't make sense. There's more one-shots to come!


End file.
